One Year After

This same morning one year ago, I woke up and felt the world was mine to conquer (it still is) but I did not know that my life was going to change forever that evening.

One year ago this morning the last thing on my mind was planning a funeral, all I was thinking of was where to do a wedding.

One year ago my father passed away and things have not been the same.

Michael Nosa Asemota 
2/3/1942 - 25/5/2011

Miss you Dad

Letter to my father on his 70th birthday

Friday 2^nd march 2012

Paris, France.

Letter to my father on his 70^th birthday.

Domo Sir,

I had planned to write this to you today and deliver it to you in person but on the morning of 26^th May last year my mother told me that you had left us all behind the night before on a journey. A journey you told me (3 years before) was closer to you than the journey you had already made.

I remember 20 years ago on this same day when you turned 50 and I was overjoyed. I shared the news with the wife of a relative with whom I was living with in Lagos at that time. Her response changed my life because she asked what you had achieved at 50? Broken home, no grandchildren … She asked what was there to celebrate?

I decided on that day never to have a broken home and also never to allow any of my children live with relatives and suffer humiliation. I did not realize at that time that she was wrong, that you had achieved much more than anyone at that age and did not have to prove anything to anyone. You were only going through one of the phases in life where God provides a valuable lesson and a better outcome.

You lived life by your own rules and many men we think are great were not half the man you were. There are things I discovered after you passed that made me realize how far ahead you had planned for those you love while depriving yourself of luxury.

You fought for what was right and never wavered even when the benefits of some of those fights were not going to change you and only came after you had passed on. I will always learn from the life you lived never to give up fighting for what is right even when everyone else says “give up”.

You passed away at 69 and lived a full life. You already had everything that those who mocked you did not believe you would have and more but did not believe in making a spectacle for the public. Your life changed and you were blessed beyond measure after you came back to find God and worshipped him like no man I have ever known. You always made me remember that and I also changed my ways and saw the result.

I still remember our conversations and how you would end it always in prayer, deep and fervent prayer of a man who loved his creator deeply and beyond the ordinary. There is no doubt in my mind now that you are at peace with the creator and we will all unite at the appointed time but it still hurts not to have you here today to celebrate the full life you have lived.

In a few months I will follow the steps you encouraged me regularly to and will go on a journey that would have made you proud. As I go on this journey, I will not only learn from the mistakes you made but will always have God as my partner and counsel as you had instructed.

It was fitting that today was a Friday and we had planned to have a big party for you. Same party we planned when you turned 60 but you were in hospital at that time and now at 70 you have left us for the bigger party in heaven.

I will always remember our last conversation and how it ended on a happy note and will forever remember you happy. I will continue to live everyday as a celebration of your life.

I miss you Sir.

Memories of My Father

MEMORIES OF MY FATHER…

Apple sent me a message earlier: A reminder to buy a gift from the Apple Store for my Dad on Father’s Day.  They probably didn’t get the memo that my father died at 7:50pm on May 25th 2011.

It however is still  Father’s Day and I decided that instead of moping and getting depressed by thinking of all I would have done for my Dad today (had he still been alive) I would rather remember him and write a tribute.

I have a last name that some associate with rich people mainly because I have some relatives who have done well for themselves.  Usually when people ask me “which Asemota?” I usually reply “the poor one”. After my father’s passing I don’t think I will give that answer anymore.

My father left me with riches. Not material riches but a rich memory and heritage. There is also progress I have made materially (and will still make) in life as a result of his prayers and blessings.

According to Charles H Spurgeon’s version of “The Prayer of Jabez”: “Many a poor man has had no other legacy to leave his children except his blessing, but the blessing of an honest, holy, Christian father is a rich treasure to his son.”

My father lived a full life. He had sons, daughters, grandchildren and also several women. He was flawed in many ways in his youth but he found God late in life and loved God like no man I have ever seen.

Even in our last conversation he still told me to “take the Blessed Sacrament very seriously because it was the most powerful thing on earth”  He was born Catholic, left the church but came back late in life to recognize the power of “The blessed Sacrament” I am a living testimony to that power and I never doubted him.

The last time I saw him I was gripped with fear that he was growing older and I realized that I needed to spend more time with him and tell him a lot of things I had wanted to tell him. I also wanted to borrow from the first chapter of James Wilkinson’s devotional in the prayer of Jabez and ask him to bless me. Bless me like he had never done before.

In “The Prayer of Jabez Devotional”, Bruce Wilkinson told the story of his own son asking for his blessing. An excerpt is below:

“I remember the evening my son David asked me for a blessing.…“Dad, I want to ask you a question. Will you bless me?” His mom and sister stared at him. I stared at him as well, as his request appeared to drop out of the blue. “David, you know I do bless you,” I said.  “No, Dad. I want you to really bless me.” Then he stood up, walked to the armchair where I was seated, and knelt in front of me. Then he waited, head bowed, without even looking up. Do you know what flooded through my heart at that moment? I felt a tremendous desire to bestow on him every possible good thing. Here was my own child waiting at my feet, telling me by word and action what he wanted most was what only I, his father, could give him.…In Jesus’ name, I poured blessing after blessing upon him. And I didn’t stop until I was certain that he not only was blessed, but that he also felt blessed!”

It may sound selfish but it is the best gift you can ever give a father. So this Father’s day, instead of thinking of what to buy for your father just simply ask him to bless you. Children’s blessings are also a father’s blessings.

This was one regret I will have but I know one day that I too will learn to bless my children until they are blessed and feel blessed. Even when they don’t ask for it.

There are many things I remember about my father. His perfect handwriting, his unique voice which grows dimmer in my mind…..but will remain fresh thanks to video technology and my youngest sister’s wedding. I will keep remembering him everyday.

The memories of my father will not only be with me till I breathe my last, I will also ensure that they are passed on to my unborn children. My father will live forever both in our genes and in our minds.

Michael Nosa Asemota. March 1942 – May 2011